Nothing prepares you for being a new mum. Your life is turned upside down and your personal time will be more limited. It’s completely to feel overwhelmed with your new role and the changes to your body shame.
Give yourself plenty of time and be gentle with yourself to adjust to your new parenting role. There are lots ofways you can learn to feel more confident as a new mum.
What is confidence?
We believe that being confident as a new mum is being happy and relaxed with your choices. That could be everything from your choices with parenting, diet, lifestyle, home life, and work.
It is not uncommon for new mums to experience self-doubt in their role and experience low levels of confidence, both in their capabilities and in their looks. You may now have stretch marks and be sleep deprived – all of which are not great for your well being.
Your mental health is paramount during parenting so it is really important to look after this as a new mother. If you feel better you will be more likely to cope with your new baby. We all know baby blues kick in during the first week due a change in hormones, but if you feel low for more than a few weeks it is important to speak to a medical advisor.
Some mums are never quite sure if they are doing things right, and unsolicited advice is not always welcome! Society puts a lot of pressure on first time mums about how you should be bringing up your baby and how you should be looking.
Your new baby will bring lots of joy, but you will also find the change in the family dynamic can impact your relationships.
You’re never quite sure if you’re doing the right thing. Even with the best advice in the world, your confidence level could hit a new low and you may worry you’re making mistakes.
Sleep deprivation is really tough for parents. It’s a cliche but you really should try to sleep when your baby sleeps. Try not to worry about the state of the house. Making sure you try and get eight hours sleep (and plenty of naps) is really important. You need to be your own best friend here.
There are plenty of smartphone apps to help with meditation for when you can find time to nap after the birth of your baby. Try popping a face mask on whilst you close your eyes to have some much-needed me-time. This can do wonders for your self-esteem.
You don’t have to do it all
After the birth of your baby, you may feel like you want to have your life in order. However, it is easy to feel overwhelmed with housework and errands.
Asking for support
Try to ask friends or family for support during your parenting journey – whether it be picking up some shopping for you or walking your dog to give you a break. If you can, get out with your baby for a short walk this can really help with your well-being. The exercise will help you unwind and is good for you and your baby too.
Meeting other mums
Some new mums like to get out to baby groups – and others don’t at all. If you speak to your healthcare professional they can advise on any local groups. Support groups can be both in-person and online now so you can find something that suits you. It can be useful to seek advice from other families, but equally important not to compare yourself to other mums.
Accept your new shape
You may not fit into your pre pregnancy clothes now. During early motherhood, your body goes through many changes.
Your body shape will change, your pre-baby clothes may not fit you and you may need a better fitting bra for your new shape. You can increase your body confidence by treating yourself to some new clothes, make-up, and beauty treatments.
You don’t need to spend a lot of money on new clothes, but there are some easy ways to vamp up your wardrobe and make you feel better.
You could ask for good quality clothes as a gift for yourself. This can help both mentally and emotionally as well – making confidence and self-esteem easier to manage.
Style tips for mums
There are some simple ways to boost your body confidence. If you take time to look more put together and it will help improve your self-esteem. Take time to apply a little make-up, some simple tinted moisturizers and mascara will make a difference.
Hide those dark circles with some sunglasses, which you wear even on cloudy days. Some mums like to get their eyebrows dyed to save time in the mornings.
Perfectly groomed eyebrows can help you look wide awake. Adapt to your new body shape with some flattering high-waisted jeans and some better-fitting underwear for your new shape.
Treat yourself to a stylish handbag that doubles as a nappy bag. You will feel a whole more put together.
Some stylish shoes such as loafers or slip-on trainers are easy and comfortable and will look great with jeans and casual dresses. You may want to pop on a long blazer and some lippy to brighten up your look and feel more pulled together and boost your confidence.
Diet and Nutrition
Look after yourself by boosting your nutritional intake. Time will not always be on your side so you can make smoothies for breakfast, snacking on fruit and nuts and drink around 8 glasses of water every day.
You will find this will boost your skin and energy levels. Don’t put pressure on yourself to embark on a weight loss programme. You’ll lose any extra baby weight in good time.
A really easy way to feel better in your new body is to pop on some fake tan. Gone are the days when other mums had an orange glow about them. there are many easy-to-apply fake tans now to save time and boost your confidence.
Make time for a bit of pampering. Find what fits into your life. You may find a simple slick of bright lipstick works for you, other mums find having their nails one helps save time and makes them feel better.
Style tips to boost your confidence
There are lots of style tips online to help you feel better about yourself since becoming a new mum. Especially if you haven’t had much sleep and are dealing with a new body shape and routine.
Find styles that you feel comfortable with, don’t follow the trends. If you want to wear leggings with long tops to hide your stretch marks then you do it. You may have a weak bladder after the birth of your baby and need to wear control pants.
Similarly, your bra size may have changed, you can ask other mums for advice on correct fitting bras and find the right bra for your new body. Or you can get measured professionally at many department stores.
Staying positive as a new mum
It’s important to try and inject a little bit of the old you into your new lifestyle. Making time for your hobbies and interests, or health and fitness will do wonders for your wellbeing. Your world has changed but you don’t have to.
Part of your well-being can be to keep a gratitude journal or even give yourself 10 minutes to lie down and think through your day and everything you have accomplished. There are plenty of free mindful meditations available online. This is a good way to spend your free time.
Or you may prefer to get some fresh air and go for a short walk when you have time. Do check with a health professional if you want to embark on any exercise after the birth of your baby.
Haircare tips busy mums
You may not have time to do your hair as a busy mum, but you can boost your confidence with some super hack hair hacks for busy mums.
Dry shampoo is every mum’s friend. If you don’t have time to wash your hair, a spray of dry shampoo will make you feel better.
You can also use hair accessories, such as an Alice band or hat to hide a multitude of sins. Or you can scoop long hair into a stylish updo. If you have a fringe some mums just quickly wash and style the fringe to feel better.
After the birth of your baby your routine changes. You may find it is easier to wash your hair in the evening, saving you time in the morning. Many mums change their hairstyle – you prefer a fringe, or you might decide to go for a choppy bob. Talk to other mums and see what they have done.
Make time for self-care
You can boost your self-esteem with some all-important self-care. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed. But having some time for yourself can make you feel better and make you feel confident.
Imaging giving just an ounce of the love you share for your baby to you. Make time for a soak in the bath, or to have your nails or hair done.
Or if you can try a gentle walk, or curl up with a good book – do what is right for you. Taking some time out for yourself and giving yourself some positive self-talk is a great investment for you and your new child.
Asking for help
If you are feeling low and lacking in confidence for more than a few weeks it is vital to seek professional medical advice.
Don’t feel like a bad mum if you need to seek help. Sleepless nights and lack of routine can be really tough. But if you are feeling quite low for a while try speaking to a doctor. Post-natal depression is quite common in new mums.
There is lots of help around to bring out your confidence as a new mum. You may require medication to help you enjoy motherhood and that’s ok. Try not to worry. Your world has changed but your family are there to support you and your children.